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II) BODYDefining the domestic violence.1.1 Domestic violence is a pattern of behavior which involves violence or other abuse by one person against one another in domestic setting, such as marriage or living together as husband and wife. It can be term intimate partner violence when committed by a partner in an intimate relationship against the other spouse, and can take place in heterosexual or same-sex relationships, or between the former spouses or partners. Domestic violence can also involve violence against children, parents or the elderly and may be done for the self-defense. It take a number of forms, including the verbal, physical, emotional, economic , religious, reproductive and sexual abuse, which can range form subtle, coercive forms to marital rape and to violent physical abuse such as choking, beating, female genital mutilation and acid throwing that results in disfigurement or death. (*Why does the domestic violence happen?Family violence occurs when the abuser believes that violence is acceptable, unlikely to be reported, they think that they can do anything to victims and the victims deserved to be treat like that. Hence, it can cause a cycle a domestic violence, children witnessing too much violence and then they continue thinking that violence is acceptable or condoned. Awareness, perception, definition, and documentation of family violence differs widely from country to country. Domestic violence often happens in the context of forced or child marriage.( The uses of domestic violece is justified to impose one’s will or to resolve conflict.(The Batterer as parents, 2011, p63)”He says he loves my mom but he lies. He tells mum to do everything at home.He never gave Mum any money. He hit my mum .I saw it.I tried to look happy but i was not inside. He never played with me – i felt lonely… My dad hit my sister with a plate and she started bleeding on her head. She was red everywhere… I am scared when i have to see my dad sometimes, that he will hurt me or shoot me. He said a lots of time that he would do that to all of us ” ( 6-year old boy, talking to Higgins, 1994 ).2.The states of family violence in Vietnam.Vietnam has come long way in recognising that domestic violence is a real issue, affecting thousands if not millions of women nationwide. Domestic violence in Vietnam is still a private issue yet some people believe that this view is changing for the better, with society now stepping to help. ( to one website called 2015, the number of victims of domestics in Vietnam is so surprising, nearly 60% of married women in Vietnam are abused and have suffered physical or sexual abuse at least one of their life. Nearly 58% of married women are victims of both kind of violence, which causes them heavy physical or mental damage, officials said at a conference in Hanoi in November 25.( women are also at risk. Some of women who had been pregnant reported being beaten during pregnant. In almost all of these cases,  the women have been abused by the father of unborn child.This actual situation is really sad. The number of the victims is too many and the women are often the person who have been abused the most. Because many people in Vietnam still have a perspective which is male chauvinism and treat with women badly. That thinking is too outdated and it need to be fixed.” It was depressing. My mother was always on the edge and I was frightened as well, everytime he was there , thinking ‘oh, what’s he going to do today? Is he going to knife her or what?'”(Child quoted in Abrahams 1994, p33)           3.The impacts of domestic violence on children’s growth and development.3.1. Physical aspects.3.1.1 Penatal.Michigan State University scientists have proved that unborn children can be affected by domestic abuse. The study showed a ” surprising strong” connection between mom and postnatal trauma symptoms in their children during the first year of their life.(’s weight, premature birth, excessive bleeding and fetal death can happen if the mother is abused.( Infants.Make the children’s growth down low about the physical side,their health can be effected a lots because they lack of nutrition, some kids have some the symptoms of eating disorder. It influence so much in child’s well-being. .( Older children .The children have mental troubles and the pains in their head make them go crazy and it leads to that they will take some neurcleptic and if they do not use it accurately or take too much to decrease their pains , it really harm to their health. The physical effects of witnessing domestic violence is not as clear as symptoms of behavioral problems. When the children get older ,the anxiety gets bigger, too. They harbour the feeling of guilt, blame and are constantly on edge and can fall into depression easily. If their anxiety may progresses to more physical symptoms, it can lead to that the children show their tiredness, lack of sleep and lose weigh too much, nutrition changes from the poor eating habits.( Behavioral problems.Battered mothers have been found to have slightly higher rates than nonbattered mothers or physical or psychological aggression toward their children and substantially higher rates of spanking their children or neglect them (C.Taylor et al.200)Children of battered women can target for their mother for their angry resentments toward the batter , as they often do not feel comfortable expressing their anger directly to him( Bancroft 2005, Roy, 1998) . Hence, it cause a cycle of domestic violence. Domestic may seem unpredictable , however; in does in fact follow a typical pattern no matter when it occurs or who is in involved. (Cycle of Violence.pdf)Witnessing the family violence can make a huge injury about psychological side for children and it can last through their whole life. They can be obsessed with the pains , feelings forever, they often feel insecurity and always fear something that can happen. Grief, shame, and low-esteem are common emotion that children exposed to domestic violence experience.Linda Esposito,a Los Angeles-based psychotherapist said that the children might blame themselves ” Maybe if i was a better kid or a smater student, my parents would not fight”. Somehow it will lead to mental illness such as depression, anxiety ,ect.(,2014). Some children attempt suicide or abuse themselves such as cutting themselves, trying to get injuries and enjoying the pains.3.3 Social symptomsthe children may isolate themselves from others people that include friends and relatives in an effort to stay close to siblings and victimized of parentsSome children choose to join the gangs or become involved in dating relationship mimic the learned behavior Poor anger management , poor problem solving skills, lack of communication skills and they do not know how to engage in exploitable.( What helps.Raising everyone’s knowledge about domestic violence Know the warning sign of victims in violenceUnderstanding the basicsDo not pressure them to leave Help them to prepare a safety plan, thinking about their children, what is the best for both victims and children.Find different ways to support themMake sure they know that confidential and free help is accessible.Know the number of the police and call when have any problems.( the children reporting living with domestic violence, 39% reported experiencing sexual assault, 42% physical assault and more than half (559%) physical abuse ; more than three-quarters(79%) had witness community violence.(Making an impact, 1988, P.44)6.Conclusion.        To sum up, children who have experiences of witnessing domestic violence have many problems and they should be protected from it. There are some ways to help those poor children and their victims of family violence. It is no doubt that family violence brings a lots of pains and effect a lots on children’s growth and well-being. We need to save those people and defend them from the abuser who make the fear and obsessions about the family violence to the victims and children in spite of how many difficult things may become.’Cycle of domestic violence’ is a problem that make everyone concern about it so much, in the past , made professionals worry about children who living with family violence as a ‘bad bet’ when they become the partners or parents in the future.(Children and domestic violence, 2000,p.26)7.References.1.the Effect of Domestic Violenceon children Accessed 28/12/20172.Effect of domestic on children   Accessed 28/12/20173.Lucy Bancroft and Jay Silverman (2011).The Battered of Parents: Adressing the impacts of domestic violence on family dynamics. 2 edition. SAGE publications.4. Higgins,G (1994), ‘Hammersmith Women’s Aids childhood development project’, in A.Mullender and R. Morleys(eds) Children Living with Domestic Violence, London, Whiting and Birch.5.Domestic violence in Vietnam  Accessed 28/12/20176.58 percent of married women in Vietnam are victims of domestic violence: report Accessed 28/12/20177. Child quoted in Abrahams, 1994, p33 cited by Marianne Hester(2006)8.Domestic violence can traumatise children even before they are born: Abused on pregnant women is linked to emotional distress on babies, study claimsAccessed 28/12/22017 9.C.Taylor et al (2000) cited by Lundy Bancroft, Jat Silverman (2002)10.Roy(1988), Banroft(2005) cited by Bancroft and Jay Silverman11. 1736 Family Crisis Center, 2010. The Cycle of Domestic Violence PDF Available at 12.Domestic violence: Impact on children  Accessed 28/12/201713.12 things Everyone Can Do To Help Victims  Of Domestic violence Accessed 28/12/201714. Marianne Hester et al , 2006.Making an impact: Children and domestic violence : a reader.Jessica Kingsley Publishers; 2 edition.15.Catherine Humpreys and Audrey Mullender,2000. Children and domestic violence PDF Available at< >

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