As stated in
Significance of Friendship page 112-113 “Children engage in them with other
children, and in many instances, these
children would describe one another as their ‘friends’. Our youngest
members of society see their companions at play as their usual buddies as they
are in their pre-gang stage. It is the time in which the more children they can
get along with play will stand as the symbol to keep them contained with their
playmates. They consider other children who have the same interest with them as
their regular companion until they established a good relationship of friendship even though they do not fully
understand what ‘friends” means to them.
As mentioned in 3.1
Children’s experience of friendship
means a psychological understanding
not only for adults
but for the children’s best benefit.
According to Robert Selman “, He put forward the hypothesis that
the development of children’s conceptions of friendship would relate closely to
the more general development of social understanding, in other words, the ways in which children construe,
interpret and represent other people’s points of view.”
His hypothesis in the concept of friendship among children varies from ages of every child. Primarily the level of understanding of
friendship among children is the benefit of the happiness on their end. The
means does not justify the importance yet for these young members of our
Based on Robert
Selman’s different levels of skill in taking a social perspective among
children he viewed the following: 1) Momentary physical playmate; it is the
stage among children 3-5 years of age in which it means the ‘I play with you,
you play with me” scenario in every child. Whoever comes in their way as long
as they enjoy the moment of characterization of the play, they would enjoy it. 2) One-way assistance; among children
of 6-8 years old ages socializes in a win-win
situation in which they consider having friends is a beneficial factor only.
That their friend will do good things to them only as they are in their
“psychological gang stage”. It means they are starting to find out who among
their friends would be good to them and not; and only those who are good that
they will keep. 3) Fairweather cooperation; is a part of their stages in which they learn to face the
little by little the realities of
friendship. They argue they fight, they
get jealous of attention and others. Thru these different emotions that they
eventually learn that children start to build emotions to establish the real
importance of friendship as part of their lives. At this age, they can eve declared or determined the
term “best friend” as their best buddy as years go by in their lives. 4) Mutual concern; at this stage as
considered as a final stage of their
childhood they see friendship as part of their individuality and personality.
They see other mutual friends as a bond
of the totality of their personality.
According to Selman, he sees children’s friendship
developing in a linear and systematic fashion. It simply means that as the
child goes with his or her age his perceptions of
the importance of every individual who is part of their environment matters a lot to
each child. Thus, environment explains
how conventional and innovative life to everyone especially to the young ones
nowadays. Visual images play an important role in influencing manner of the relationship between
children and even adults too. What children see serves as their model regardless of the impact it will implicate to the. As they go through their
developmental stages the developmental tasks happen also in which they
familiarize themselves on how to manage lifelong
process not only in terms of friendship but as an individual is managing their socialization aspect in life.
On page 118, it was
mentioned about the sociological understanding among friends to children.
Playing stands as important role as a tool
for children in socialization. They use
play as interactions in finding friends. The more interactive the games or
plays for the children, the more they get the chance of interaction and finding
compatible children of interest that they consider as their friends.
At some points there are instances like children does not require the age to be part of qualification in
determining friendships. There are countries where accountability of friendship
has to get along with the compatibility of beliefs, autonomy and self-knowledge.
However, children may be differently compared friendship. These are
relationships that have to determine if
the childhood playmates would last into a real
friendship because there are cases which are not.
Patterns of friendship
appear also due to the fact that children
see it as available at the moment or due to the compatibility. Like as mentioned
in Chapter 3 Children and friendship. There is a friendship that develops due to the neighborhood,
friendship along the street, friendship due to games and play, and also a kind
of friendship which is a gender-based friendship. Children who have preference friendship with the same sex
like boys befriend with boys and girls befriend with girls. It simply implies that at
early young ages they have preferences for
friendships because the young ones are into the discovery
of their ‘SELF”.
However nowadays virtual friends have been famous also as
the rise of the innovation in the media and internet world. The term society
expands into the world of the social media thru different social networking
sites even among the young ones up to their teenage years. Their addiction to sympathy and voices can be seen and read
thru social media accounts. The main risk is that crimes happen a lot due to
lack of background knowledge thru about others thru social media. Virtual
friends boom even there is a question of credibility among social media people.
Having friends or establishing friendship relationship
children simply implicates the needs of socialization. It I somehow related to
the symbiotic relationship of human in which starts as they learn to explore
their environment and to discover themselves. Being mentioned that the
relationship among human is comparatively universal with each other. The age, gender,
interests, culture are some of the primary factors in establishing a relationship and how an individual at very young age interacts with his environment in the
process of learned or acquired social skills.